I've got a few pet peeves, but not that many. I'm going to list three here, because they all happened to me in the last two days. I'll have to start writing them down as they occur, and publish my top ten list here one day. Anyway, back to the three I promised.
Who are these people who wipe their buggers on the wall at the urinal. I never notice it until I start pissing, then it's too late to move. You'd think they could wait a few seconds, and grab some TP before they dig them out. Nothing more gross than a bugger right at eye level while you piss. People that do this are everywhere. It's not limited to dives, I've seen buggers on the wall in some pretty ritzy joints.
Speaking of buggers, one got me in a fair amount of trouble once.
While in high school my best friend was one "Bones Webber". Bones and I had attended eight years of parochial school together, and were already seasoned partners in crime by the time we went to the local public high school.
Our sophomore year we took biology together, and our teacher was a very, "by the book", humorless guy named Roy Lauter. We were dissecting a starfish one day in teams of two, and Bones was my partner. He looks at me and says, "watch this!". He reaches deep into his nose with a finger, and draws out an especially long bugger, the type he called a "wall bugger".
Our assignment was to identify the different parts of the starfish anatomy. Bones takes this fresh, still moist, long bugger, and lays it across the eviscerated starfish. He then promptly raises his hand, and tells Mr. Lauter he needs his assistance. When Mr. Lauter arrives at our dissection table, Bones points out the "Wall Bugger", and tells Mr. Lauter he can't seem to identify this from examples in our workbook.
Mr. Lauter bends over the table to get a really close look, and then does the unthinkable, he picks it up and turns it from side to side trying to figure out what it might be. After several minutes of handling this thing he lays it back atop the starfish, and says he is not quite sure, but thinks it probably is part of the intestine. Bones thanked him, and Mr. Lauter returned to his desk.
Now you have two fifteen year old boys trying to hold it together till class breaks, and our prank, (actually Bones'), could be shared with our buddies. Everyone thought it was hilarious, and it was soon the talk of the hallways. Unfortunately for us, some Mr. or Ms. Goodyshoes felt the need to tell Mr Lauter that he had been the victim of a terrible prank. By the fifth period we were in the Principal's office listening to how this act of disrespect would probably lead us to residing in the penal system in the not too distant future.
We ended up spending that hour in study hall for a week, and probably only got the "D" we did at the end of the semester because he didn't want us to repeat his class. Maybe its' Lauter putting all these buggers on the wall, knowing how it pisses me off.
The next pet peeve is people charging onto an elevator, before those exiting have a chance to get off. The elevator can be packed, and some jerk will try to pry himself in before anyone can get off. I usually give these people my, "you're a lowlife" stare, but it dosen't seem to bother them.
The third, and last pet peeve for today, is having someone come up and ask me question after question, while I'm brushing my teeth. There's only one person around here that comes into the head when I'm in there, and you can guess who that is. She won't say anything all morning untill I'm halfway through brushing, when she pops in and has fifty questions to ask me. It happens so routinely, that I'm thinking she might be doing it on purpose, just to piss me off, like Lauter, and that jerk-off who tried to board a full elevator.
There, I got that off my chest after all these years.
